Hassel Free Living

Many single men and single women ignore their inner needs and feelings. Quite often, the man or woman, whilst growing up, who was always under pressure to do better has not learned to be kind to himself/herself, nor listen to their inner feelings and emotional needs. They lack self worth, feel they should be trying harder therefore they are tough on themselves – not allowing themselves life’s important pleasures. They do not nurture themselves or make allowances for their own wellbeing, ignoring their emotional needs. These single men and single women are most likely to be successful in their careers and on the sporting field and able to shelve their inner needs whilst pursuing career goals. However, one day the single woman or single man wakes up to wonder why a loving relationship or children has eluded them. They see their friends, friends who perhaps are not as successful as they are, with loving family units. They cannot see that they have been their own worst enemy.

We repeatedly hear of young single men and single women who have put off meeting the partner of their dreams until they have achieved other important goals; material goals or career based goals. There is the man who wanted to have a prestigious car before he started searching for a woman. He thought it would be easier to attract a woman with the right car. Many single men want to purchase a house first. Others want to complete a PhD, or take a trip overseas. All plausible ambitions, however having a partner is part of life. Putting it off until you achieve life’s other goals is actually putting your life on hold. At Entre Nous dating service, we have seen single women miss out on having children because they delayed it until they had achieved their career goals and other material goals.

When the single man, who absolutely had to buy a house before he went in search of a partner, finds a woman, the first thing they do is sell his house and buy something that suits them both. The prestigious car is sold to pay for IVF and the PhD is never sufficient compensation for missing out on children. God realised that Adam would be lonely without a partner and that is why he produced Eve. Life’s goals are more easily reached with a partner. Partners provide emotional support, help bear the load and are encouraging when encouragement and support are most needed. Married people will tell you how much easier it is to achieve goals with the support of a loving, caring partner. Statistics reveal that married people are usually more successful in their jobs, more reliable and balanced. Married men live longer and are healthier.

What’s the point of buying a house if you are going to live in it on your own? Or what’s the point of a prestigious motor vehicle if you are the only one in it? Achieving goals is part of life and having a partner is the ultimate for most of the population. Life cannot be compartmentalised, or placed on hold because we don’t know how long we have to live it. Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today. At Entre Nous dating service we see too many people who leave their run too late. Not only have they wasted much of their life, but also they have developed habits that will make it difficult to reach their goal of a loving relationship. In a lifetime of living on one’s own people are inclined to become selfish and set in their ways. This reduces their opportunities of easily forming a loving, long term relationship

Having the right partner is part of having the very best life. Many people put material things first because they don’t value their own worth. On one’s deathbed no one ever says, I wish I had had a better car, job or education. The only thing people regret on their deathbed is their emotional needs. There is only one person who can make that life better for you and that is you. Only you can make this decision, not your parents, your boss, your lecturers or the car salesman. You are the only one at the helm of your life’s journey. Do you really want to go it alone? At the Entre Nous dating service, we are prepared to work hard for our clients to help them achieve a better quality of life; however, we can only do that for them – if they want it. You need to have a burning desire to want a partner and not put barriers in the way to prevent it from happening.

Some people believe it will happen for them, they just have to be in the right place at the right time. For example 45 year old single men who say, “I know it’s only a matter of being out there.” They don’t seem to realise that they have been drifting for 25 years now and each year is going to be more difficult. The success rate of 50 year old men who want to have children is very low – we have seen it happen but it is fairly rare. We see men who decide they are not going to waste their lives; they make a life changing decision to take control. They engage Entre Nous dating service to find them a partner – at fifty years of age. We only wish they had made that decision ten or fifteen years earlier.

For single men and single women after the age of twenty five, it becomes a little less easy to find a partner and gradually becomes more difficult with every decade.

A supportive partner will make life easier for you while you are studying or very busy at work. Look at all the couples who are together and successful. What makes you think you can only do it alone? If you want to travel, it’s much more fun to do it with a partner. When you have a partner the good times are ten times better and the problems are halved

My advice to any single man or single woman seeking a lifelong partner is, don’t delay. Do something about it immediately. Don’t put your life on hold. You don’t want to die in your own arms, so when it comes to life changing decisions, never put off until tomorrow what can be started today. Life is too short to miss out. You are the most important person in your life and it is up to you and no one else to ensure that you have a happy life.

For further reading: Warren, Rick, The Purpose Driven Life (Zondervan: Michigan 2002)

Rosalind Baker is the Principal of Entre Nous, Relationship Consultants & Educators and author of Dial A Woman, Dial A Man and Dial A Personality. www.singles.net.au

Rosalind Baker
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